🔐 9 Nerdy Ways to SSH into a Server

In this blog we explore 9 fun and nerdy ways to make your SSH experience cool (and somewhat ridiculous).

🧙‍♂️ Use cowsay and fortune to Bless Your SSH

Install fortune

sudo apt update
sudo apt install fortune

For offensive or riddles

sudo apt install fortune-mod fortunes

Install cowsay

sudo apt install cowsay

While SSH-ing into a server, run:

fortune | cowsay | ssh user@host

You should see

🖼️ ASCII Art Splash Screen

You can customize your login experience by adding ASCII art to your terminal every time you SSH into your server. Here's how to do it using figlet.

---

• Install figlet

Debian/Ubuntu:

sudo apt update && sudo apt install figlet

• Generate ASCII art:

figlet "Welcome!"

• Edit the MOTD file:

sudo nano /etc/motd

• Paste the ASCII output, for example:

Save and exit. It’ll show up for all users at login.

🛰️ Run SSH Through a Satellite Relay (Using a Proxy)

You can use HTTP or SOCKS Proxy or SSH Relay or ProxyJump or sshuttle If the satellite network provides only proxy access:

In .ssh/config

Host remote
    HostName remote-server
    User user
    ProxyJump user@satellite-relay

And then run,

ssh remote

🧙 Use sshpass with a Wand Gesture (or Smart Device)

Create a trigger script

Create an ssh script

#!/bin/bash
# wand_ssh.sh
sshpass -p 'YourPasswordHere' ssh user@hostname

Create a python script to trigger SSH.

import serial, subprocess

ser = serial.Serial('/dev/ttyUSB0', 9600)
while True:
    line = ser.readline().decode().strip()
    if line == "gesture:unlock":
        subprocess.run(["/path/to/wand_ssh.sh"])

📟 Sound effects when doing SSH

For linux:

alias ssh='aplay ~/sounds/soundeffect.wav && command ssh'

Alternatively,

You can do Text-to-Speech.

For linux,

espeak "Establishing connection" && ssh user@host

For macos,

say "Establishing connection" && ssh user@host

🥷 Alias It with a Ridiculous Command

For eg.

alias initiate_protocol_x='afplay ~/modem.wav && ssh bbsuser@yourhost.com'

Then run:

initiate_protocol_x

🐍 Snake Game First, Then SSH

Install pythong

sudo apt install python3

Create snake_then_ssh.py

#!/usr/bin/env python3
import curses
from curses import KEY_RIGHT, KEY_LEFT, KEY_UP, KEY_DOWN
from random import randint
import subprocess
import sys
import os

def play_snake(stdscr):
    curses.curs_set(0)
    stdscr.nodelay(1)
    stdscr.timeout(100)

    sh, sw = stdscr.getmaxyx()
    win = curses.newwin(sh, sw, 0, 0)
    win.keypad(1)

    snk_x = sw//4
    snk_y = sh//2
    snake = [[snk_y, snk_x], [snk_y, snk_x-1], [snk_y, snk_x-2]]

    food = [randint(1, sh-2), randint(1, sw-2)]
    win.addch(food[0], food[1], '🍎')

    key = KEY_RIGHT
    score = 0

    while True:
        next_key = win.getch()
        key = key if next_key == -1 else next_key

        head = [snake[0][0], snake[0][1]]

        if key == KEY_DOWN:
            head[0] += 1
        if key == KEY_UP:
            head[0] -= 1
        if key == KEY_LEFT:
            head[1] -= 1
        if key == KEY_RIGHT:
            head[1] += 1

        snake.insert(0, head)

        if head == food:
            score += 1
            food = None
            while food is None:
                nf = [randint(1, sh-2), randint(1, sw-2)]
                food = nf if nf not in snake else None
            win.addch(food[0], food[1], '🍎')
        else:
            tail = snake.pop()
            win.addch(tail[0], tail[1], ' ')

        if head in snake[1:] or head[0] in [0, sh] or head[1] in [0, sw]:
            msg = " 💀 Game Over - Score: {} ".format(score)
            win.addstr(sh//2, sw//2 - len(msg)//2, msg)
            win.refresh()
            curses.napms(2000)
            return False

        win.addch(head[0], head[1], '■')

def main():
    result = curses.wrapper(play_snake)
    subprocess.run(["ssh", "user@host.com"])

if __name__ == "__main__":
    main()

Run it

chmod +x snake_then_ssh.py

./snake_then_ssh.py

🌐 QR Code Login

🛠️ Generate QR Code:

qrencode -o ssh-login.png 'ssh user@yourhost.com -p 2222'

Or plain terminal QR:

qrencode -t ANSIUTF8 'ssh user@yourhost.com -p 2222'

you can do

echo -e "\nScan to SSH into this system:"
qrencode -t ANSIUTF8 "ssh user@$(hostname -I | awk '{print $1}')"

Scan QR to Launch SSH on Desktop

sudo apt install zbar-tools

Script to Scan and Connect:

#!/bin/bash
zbarcam --raw | while read sshcmd; do
  echo "Connecting with: $sshcmd"
  eval "$sshcmd"
  break
done

🎮 SSH via a Game Console Emulator

Running a guest OS inside a game console emulator allows for experimentation, development, and modding. This guide covers supported consoles and how to install Linux or other OS variants in an emulated environment.

🐧 Run Linux on GameCube/Wii with Dolphin Emulator + SSH (Optional)

Bring retro computing to life by running a guest Linux OS inside the Dolphin emulator, originally built for Nintendo GameCube/Wii. This guide walks you through booting Linux and optionally enabling SSH access from within the emulated environment.

---

🎮 What You’ll Do

• Boot a lightweight Linux OS on emulated Wii/GameCube hardware
• Access a terminal inside Dolphin
• Optionally enable SSH client or server for remote access or outbound connections

---

✅ Requirements

Component	Description
🐬 Dolphin Emulator	Download here
🐧 Wii-Linux ISO/DOL	Linux build for Wii/GameCube (e.g., Mini Slackware)
💾 Virtual SD card (optional)	To persist files or add SSH configs
🎧 Modem sound (optional)	For BBS-style retro flavor

---

🔧 Setup Steps

1. Install Dolphin Emulator

Download and install Dolphin from https://dolphin-emu.org.

2. Download Wii-Linux Image

Get a bootable .dol or .elf from:

• https://wiibrew.org/wiki/Wii-Linux

Example:

wget https://example.com/wii-linux/boot.dol -O boot.dol

3. Launch the Image in Dolphin
Open Dolphin

Go to File > Open or Tools > Load DOL/ELF

Select your boot.dol

Dolphin should now boot into a lightweight Linux shell.